Hustle & Bustle

Today is the day before Christmas Eve! You know what that means.. all the procrastinators are out shopping. So please avoid the malls if you can. And if you must shop with your child keep a close eye on them & be careful! Some people are just down right crazy when it comes to holiday shopping. We don't want anyone getting hurt, let alone a child! I thought I was all done with my shopping when I realized I had returned what I was going to give my dad! WTH! Now I have to go out & get him something. He's really into the SF Giants & I saw this Letterman Jacket.. is that what it's called? Please, correct me if I'm wrong. Also, a really good friend of mine who I've known since middle school bought Ares a present even though I told her it was fine! But she insisted & purchased a $50 toy! OMG! So now.. it's a must that I go out & get her something. Of course not $50 worth since I don't have that kind of money to spend.. especially since I'm suppose to be done with my Christmas shopping. She's really into hello kitty! I should've bought that Hello Kitty last time when I purchased mine (which went missing by the way). Hmm.. so I've been surfing the web looking for a HK item. I know they're selling a bunch of stuff at Target so we'll have to stop by there. Also maybe Costco. They often sell a few HK things for the holidays. On top of that.. not all my presents are wrapped! I'm doing all  the wrapping at my moms house which is an hour plus south from where we live. So.. I've still got a few things to wrap up. Thank goodness Ares presents are done with!

Update.. Ares learned to make a few new obnoxious sounds. Like screaming & yelling! It's cute when you're not trying to sleep. Also, he says "rawr" or "argh". hahaha! That's cute! He does it when he's playing with a toy.. I think he's pretending to be a dog or a dinosaur. =/ He's currently exploring his new found sound.. he's yelling like a maniac right now. I'll end this here so I can get things done. Did I mention I still have to pack for the weekend! SMH!

I'll try to blog again this weekend! If not, HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

Eating My Sorrows Away =(

The last couple of days.. weeks.. maybe even months have been heartbreaking. I've kept mum about it just because that's the type of person I am. Or it's because I always put aside my personal problems & never talk about them. Whatever problem I may have I just ignore it. I think I'm long overdue to vent.. I feel like I need therapy, again. =( You Zoloft commercial, "Depression hurts." Yes, I do believe it does. Emotionally & physically. I've been trying so hard to keep strong for my son & I, but tonight was definitely my breaking point. For the first time I cried.. worse, I cried in front of Ares. You know what he did.. he gave me comfort! He looked dead into my eyes & put his head to my chest & laid there. Which made me cry even more! The thought of an almost 8 month old knowing the emotional torment I was going through & how he acted upon it was surprising as hell! I love my son to death! Even if no one else does or will. I LOVE HIM!

Just an hour before my tears flooded my eyes.. his father had just left to go drink with his friends. The third time this week. And it's only Wednesday! Mark (Ares father) reached to Ares, who looked back at me for reassurance! Reassurance that the person who wished to carry him wasn't going to hurt him. I told Ares, "it's okay honey" so he went with his father. But the whole minute that Ares was in his father's arms, he kept pushing off to come back to me. What does this tell me? A lot! It tells me that my son doesn't feel safe or secure in his fathers arms! The my son doesn't find comfort being held by his own blood. Why? His father lacks maturity. He's out with his friends during his free time rather than spending hours with his son, whom right now is at a vulnerable stage in his cognitive development. I fear he won't love his father. But as long as he knows I'm always here for him, my baby boy should be just fine. We can't force someone to grow up if they don't wish to.

My birthday is coming this Tuesday, the 27th. I'll be another year older, duh! My only wish was to have some time to myself. If that's too much to ask for or if it makes me sound selfish then I guess I am selfish even if I don't mean to be. It will be 8 long months since I've had any time to myself. That's right. Eight months since I've had any mommy time!Why? Cause I can't stand the thought of not being there for Ares. And Ares can't stand not having me around. He cries & looks for me when he wakes up. If I'm not around he will look & crawl. At night, when he wakes up he touches my face in the dark for comfort. A definite mama's boy! You can't blame him since I am his primary & only care taker. I wouldn't change that for anything!

I should really get my laundry folded & put away. I also need to pack since Ares & I are leaving tomorrow morning. No, not leaving like that! Just for the holidays & weekend. The usual routine! Leave for Monterey (my home) Thursday & usually come back to Milpitas (home away from home) on Sundays. But since it's the holidays we may be stuck down there for a while. Anywho, I really should get going. Like I said, we leave in the morning.. 6am to be exact & no later.

Until my next blog post! HAPPY HOLIDAYS! Hope everyone has a safe one!

Updated Christmas Wish List

So, last night Mark (boy friend/baby daddy) asked what I wanted for Christmas. I said I wasn't sure exactly.. as in.. there's a few things I want just not sure exactly which one I really want! So.. here's an updated Christmas List.. I know I know.. I've done what.. two other ones prior to this. Well I've got nothing else to blog about & my life isn't all that great. I'm just a first time mom who like all others have little time on their hands to be doing anything crazy.

1. Slow cooker
2. Baby-Led Weaning Cook Book
3. Cake Pop machine
4. Donut Machine (I believe it's made by the same manufacturer as cake pop)
5. for someone to find Ares shoe that we lost today, it's eating me! I'm going to lose sleep over this!
6. A WHITE Christmas!
7. One of those DSLR cameras.. I want to learn to take professional photographs of Ares.
8. My pre-pregnancy body back! I know I'll never look like that again.. but I want to look close to it. At least get rid of all this saggy skin. GROSSNESS!
9. 8 hours of undisturbed sleep
10. Deep tissue massage

okay.. I'm getting out of hand. LOL! Stop me!

Christmas Shopping UpDate

So been doing some Christmas shopping for the family.. & it's not easy. I told myself to start earlier this year but I procrastinated yet again. What's tough is that every time I go shopping I end up buying Ares something. LoL! More presents for his first Christmas, not complaining. Also, when I'm trying to find a specific person a gift.. I end up buying them something from two different places so I end up having to spend time in the return lines. I'm not buying my entire family something. Immediate yes, but not relatives that would leave me broke! But I do have a couple god-children & well.. The in-laws. That project is still.. Well it's probably collecting dust by now. I'll be doing some more shopping this week. Hopefully it will be the last time. Cause I'm totally over it! I've got my brother & sister, my parents, & one cousin I need to shop for since apparently i never give him anything. What do you get a guy who has everything?! For my brother I'll be getting him a Nerf gun since I secretly want one for myself. This gives me the opportunity to play with it. Teehee! My sister, probably a bunch of canvas since she's started getting into painting recently. I need to get some for myself, they're 50% off at michaels! My mom likes to play tunes while in the bathroom with her iPhone. I'm afraid she'll bust a speaker on her phone so an iHome is in need! As for my dad.. Well.. He's a tough one. He usually gives & doesn't expect much.. Nothing materialistic. He prefers love & respect. Lol! I'd love to get him a new set of golf clubs! && last but not least, the baby daddy.. He's a tough one too. He needs a new phone do maybe a new iPhone? Looks like I'm gonna be busy this week. Finding the perfect present isn't easy. I need to buy Ares a drum.. Something to bang on. Hahaha!

The end of another week

It's Friday! Yay for everyone, but since I'm just a stay at home mom everyday is a Friday for my son & I. So what's new? Anything exciting happen while I was away for a bit? Here's an update on Ares & myself...

1) Ares teeth (4 of them) started sprouting the week of Thanksgiving.. & they've finally grown in. Not 100%, but he's passed the irritated gums. So good bye long nights & fevers! Woo!

2) I posted recently about being called an "over protective" mother. Had a chat with my inlaw as well as my mom.. & they basically said "don't let it stress me" which I don't. I could care less what people call or think of me. It's their conscience in the end not mine. I just think people should think twice before saying something. It's common sense!

3) I'm not even half way done with my Christmas shopping. Every time I start shopping I always end up buying Ares more presents! I'm not complaining & I'm sure if he knew anything about Christmas & gifts he wouldn't complain either. But I was able to cross off a few family members off my list. =)

4) I haven't been feeling good lately. Something's wrong. Maybe it's finals? But I'm really stressing over whatever bug I may have. Hopefully it goes away since holidays & Christmas is a couple weeks away.

That's about it. Nothing exciting happening with my life these days. Just hoping & praying for the best in life. =)

Have a nice day everyone!

Overprotective Mother

Over the weekend I was called an "over-protective mother" at least once. I say at least because earlier today I read a post on facebook about something pretty similar but no names were mentioned & that post has been recently removed by the author. But who's to say it wasn't towards me? Before I go any further here's what the post stated, "to all my relatives make sure you wash your hands & boil in hot water & sanitize ur hands before you care the baby.. & ask permission to the LOVING & Super OVER protective mother...!!!!!" it was written exactly like that.. so I didn't change anything! Okay.. so now here's the reason why I think this post may be about me.. on Thanksgiving the father of my son & I took our son to visit his family (I will not mention which side). When we first walked into the house we were greeted with a group of screaming teenagers! Our son is 7 months old.. regardless how old he is I think people should know that noise like that can be damaging & frightening. Anyways.. so dad (son's dad) decided to take our son out of his car seat.. a few seconds later not only was our son the center of attention, but was being passed around the house like a sack of HOT POTATOES! What mother wouldn't freak out about this? I have no issues with anyone holding my son, okay maybe a little issue.. but it's only RIGHT to wash your damn hands before you touch a child or anyone! Family or not, I've seen people walk out of the bathroom without even considering washing their hands. GROSS! Another issue I have is that I have a friend whose baby got salmonella from her father, since the father never washes his hands. So like I said.. family or not.. be courteous! Mind you I didn't say a word, but I'm sure you can see the horror on my face when I saw Ares going from one set of arms to another.

I didn't say anything about the issue.. but I did think it. So it was just surprising that I read a post about something I had thought of. It may be about me & it may not be.. but my point is: a mother knows best. When your opinion is asked for, that's when you give it.. other than that.. it's not welcome. FACT!

Saturday my own ninang (godmother in tagalog) called me strict & over protective. Only because she was trying to feed my son cheese... yea.. dairy! I've read infants aren't ready to eat cows milk at least until they're a year old. So.. I was a bit freaked out. I'm not perfect. I'm a first time mother experiencing these things. It's nice to get help every now & then.. but when it comes to what's best for my son.. I think every mother would agree with me that MOTHER KNOWS BEST!

All I Want for Christmas

So earlier this week I was writing a blog about what I've always wanted for Christmas.. be it ridiculously out of this world or not. The point was just listing out the truth. I don't think I ever published that blog. So, here's another list of things I do want for Christmas..

1. The Baby-led Weaning Cookbook (Target sells it online only & has the best deal.. I should've bought it when I had the chance back in August. Don't know why I procrastinated cause now they're sold out)
2. CrockPot aka Slow Cooker (I love to cook! Sure using a slow cooker doesn't really show my skills in the kitchen, but every now & then I'd like not to have to spend so much time over a hot stove.)
3. A white Christmas! (I wish for this every single year.. last year it came close..)

 That's pretty much all I want.. but to get a little crazy.. here's just a few more things I feel like adding on.
4. Gift Cards to: Ikea, Ross, Target, Walmart, Macys, Khols (Pretty much anywhere that sells house decors. I don't really think I want to buy myself anything.. I'm not priority anymore.)
5. All expense paid family vacation to the Philippines. (I need to go back in 2014 to fix my paperwork & I'm NOT leaving Ares behind).

BTW... family & friends who are reading this.. if you plan on buying Mark clothing for Christmas... he is NOT a size XL! That was in high school.. he's now a MEDIUM! Thanks! Oh & my son wears size 9-12 months... for now. Yea.. he's huge! We're raising a linebacker. hahaha!

8 Hours

It's now 6:00am.. Plus or minus 5 minutes. Lol. Went to bed at 10pm last night with Area.. & the only reason I'm awake now was to feed Ares who was shoving his face to my boob. Smart kid, yea? And the other reason.. I had to pee. I can't believe Ares & I slept for 8 hours! I'm so happy! Ares has never done that.. I feel so rested. A bit annoyed coz I'm now awake. But I'm sure a few rounds of Call of Duty will tire me out? Haha! Yeah, I'm one of those chicks. That's the only game I will ever play! A little violent you say? It is.. But it let's me blow of steam. I'd rather do that than go out & drink or fight with the boyfriend.

Anyways, when I went out to pee.. Bathroom is down the hall near the living room.. I noticed the tv was still on. I looked & saw my dad still up playing pokerist on Facebook. Wtf! Fool go to sleep! Lol! Oh Facebook & your games!

Three more weeks until Christmas & until the semester ends! I can't wait to start a new school semester. Woohoo!! I should consider attending a different school just so I can finish faster, but driving an extra 15mins out of my way doesn't seem right. At the end of the day I just need to get home to Ares. Priority.

Well I may not have to play a game of CoD.. Blogging I guess was enough. Good.. Mornight!

Five Facts

I've got nothing else to blog about really.. other than so why not come up with random things to talk about! Here are 5 facts about me..

#1. I constantly misplace my phone & keys (it's even worse now that I'm a mom.. so I can't blame it on pregnancy brain.)
#2. When visiting my mom.. every time I go into the kitchen I always open the fridge, pantry, & fridge.. in that order. (even when I'm not hungry.. OCD?)
#3. Ares was not my first pregnancy, which is why I called him a miracle in a previous post. =,[
#4. Growing up, I was teased a lot about my weight & appearance (I used to be super skinny). I ended up with issues.. called an eating disorder.
#5. Coming into motherhood I knew there were a lot of things I was going to learn.. what I didn't know was how much my son was going to be teaching me.

Well, there you have it! Okay.. I'm done!

The 1st of December

Well, it's that time of year! The holidays are definitely here! It's finally the first of December! My favorite month. Why? Well, in 24 days it's Christmas time.. in 26 days.. it's my BIRTHDAY! Woo hoo! =) & no.. I don't just get one birthday present from family.. I still get two! teehee! I mean, if every body else can get presents twice a year why would people who have birthdays on or near a holiday be any different?

I've still got a lot of Christmas shopping to do. This year I won't be buying everyone presents. 1) Money doesn't grow on trees 2) It's not easy Christmas shopping with an infant during this crazy season 3) it's Ares first Christmas so we're buying him tons of things!

Wrapped a few presents today. So excited! I don't recommend wrapping presents while your baby is near though. I think it may have something to do with the shiny wrapping paper.. plus.. Ares kept trying to play with his toys but I had to take them away (wrap them) so he kept trying to tear open his presents.

hmm.. what else what else.. I bought Ares a cute little outfit for Christmas from H&M! Never thought I'd ever buy anything from that store, but I did. And I didn't break bank.. not even close! Definitely will be one of my favorite places to shop for Ares. They have such cute hip outfits for babies!

I think this is it for now.. stay safe out there. Try & avoid the Christmas rush by getting all your shopping done early. Avoid the malls during the weekends & evenings, if you can! Thankfully, not having a job has it's perks! Being able to shop early in the morning to avoid rush hour & crowd.

Happy Holidays!