Torn

So I've been unemployed for over a year now. The last job I had only lasted a month & it was a year ago when I just up & quit. I was a couple months pregnant & work required me to life heavy objects. At the time I was a Merchandise Supervisor.. a real step down from the job I held for 4 years a Pharmacy Assistant. =( I miss working.. don't get me wrong being a full time stay at home mom is great but it's also go it's downs. For instance, finances are a little short simply because we're relying on my boyfriends income. I've been looking for a jobs.. it's just hard since I'm so afraid to leave Ares (my 6 month old son). Sure I leave him with his father for a couple of hours while I'm away at school, but I still worry! I need a job ASAP! & with the new season here I'm sure I can snag a part time seasonal job with ease. But.. I wouldn't have anyone to leave my little guy with since boyfriend refuses to watch him. Sad right?

Hoping he graduates this semester but I highly doubt that will happen now since he hasn't been going to class using Ares as a reason as to why he's having difficulties studying. Which pisses me off because the past 2 months my son & I have been driving down to Monterey & staying with them during the weekends in order for my boyfriend to have time to study. I'm mainly upset at myself because I put his education in front of mine. If I knew then what I know now, that he'd be taking this long to his shit straight I wouldn't have bothered waiting. Now, I'm stuck with no job & with little education. Grr! I need a bloody miracle! I've told friends & family before to always keep their heads up & look forward. It's so easy to say but so difficult to do. Only because I'm having the toughest time looking forward & keeping a smile on my face. I feel as if my life is stuck.. I take one step forward & immediately have to take two steps back. =( Good things come to those who wait right.. I've been waiting.

On a positive note.. my son is sitting on his own with support that is. He's able to sit up but occasionally does fall over. He's also technically "crawling"..  great for his development but now he's getting into everything!

Well gotta end this here.. my little guy is calling his mama... =)